Dear Hilton, Why Aren’t You Selling Me Anything?

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Dear Hilton,

I am at a new hotel near the Raleigh Durham airport right now. And it is the same, hotel room experience as always.

Which started me thinking… why is it always the same experience, everywhere?

I mean, you have me here and there, at hotels all over this country (and others), and what do you sell me besides a benign experience? Why do you only ever try to sell me the same thing, for the past decade(s)?

–  A pay per view movie? I can get movies and TV shows from a lot of different places now. This is 2010, not 1990.

–  A spa-something? Never been interested. And only offered at a fraction of locations anyway.

–  Internet access? Well, now it is free. Thanks for that. But let’s be honest. It is uniformly lousy. Have you seen that iPhone commercial where the person in the hotel is using the video conferencing on their phone? That could never happen with any hotel wifi anywhere.

Can you please think about selling me any of the following?

–  On demand fast-as-blazes wireless Internet. Sometimes I need a g.d. fast connection.  This is doable. Honest. I’ll pay for it. If only because it would let me watch TV and movies from the sources I prefer anyway.

–  Something in the vending machines besides stuff that could have been put there last year.  Because I get hungry at night.  I work a lot. And I can pay for real food.

  •  Car detailing … since I am leaving it in your parking lot all week. And it is dirty.

–  Freemiums.  People in hotel rooms are bored (sorry, in case this is news to you).  There must be a ton of other companies that would be interested in your guests. Internet services and very small sizes of things would be the logical first step since I already packed without making room for more stuff. And national brands would work best, I suppose, or items that are not location-dependent, since I might not ever be back here. Anything I would buy using a laptop can work.

… A hotel room is one of the last places where that sort of shopping or sampling can be done privately.